Roger Cunard

Personal Growth, Self-Improvement & Well-Being

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Independent writer sharing insights and wisdom about living a fuller, happier, and healthier life.

  • When You Don’t Know What to Do

    When you find yourself in doubt and you don’t know what to do, there are a few simple things that could help to bring clarity and bridge you to the next right decision:

    • Drink a tall glass of water.
    • Close your eyes and clear your mind.
    • Sit still and breathe.
    • Go for a short walk.

    Pausing for these few moments may or may not bring you clarity you need, but it certainly won’t do any harm. If you need to take action, consider this reflection on indecision from Sylvia Plath in her 1963 novel about mental health and womanhood, The Bell Jar:

    I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

  • A Little Relaxation

    Italian polymath Leonardo Da Vinci was incredibly accomplished and productive during his lifetime. However, he placed great value on rest and recovery:

    It is a very good plan every now and then to go away and have a little relaxation. When you come back to the work your judgment will be surer, since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose the power of judgment.

    Work hard when it’s time to work. But when it’s time to rest, disconnect completely.

  • I Have Arrived, I Am Home

    Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh passed away on January 22, 2022. On the one-year anniversary of his continuation, Plum Village released a documentary — “I Have Arrived, I Am Hime” — from filmmaker Max Pugh to inspire us to walk the path of mindful living.

    The short film features footage and commentary on Thich Nhat Hanh’s return to his native Vietnam.

  • Parable of the Mexican Fisherman

    I first read the parable of the Mexican fisherman and American businessman in The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. It immediately shifted how I thought about lifestyle design and retirement.

    The story is of unknown origin and seems to have been told many times in many ways across many cultures. But whether the fisherman is from Brazil, Italy, or Mexico, the core points and profound impact of the parable remain the same.

    The Mexican Fisherman and the American Businessman

    An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

    “How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

    “Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.

    “Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.

    “I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.

    “But… What do you do with the rest of your time?”

    The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”

    The American laughed and stool tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

    He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution, and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually New York City, where you could run your expanding enterprise with proper management.”

    The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will all this take?”

    To which the American replied, “15-20 years. 25 tops.”

    “But what then, señor?”

    The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

    “Millions, señor? Then what?”

    “Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”

  • To Saunter, or Soft Hiking

    If you’re beginner hiker or a hardcore mountaineer looking for a change of pace, “soft hiking” is a new word for an old concept. By soft hiking, you can enjoy the outdoors and stay active at your own pace while being open to the full experience.

    To practice soft hiking, find a less challenging trail, slow down, and stay mindful while you walk. Take your time to absorb the surroundings, listen to the sounds of the forest, observe wildlife, and experience the peace and tranquility of the great outdoors.

    Soft hiking provides an opportunity to focus on the more mental health benefits of being in nature. I like to pair a leisurly, soft hike with a guided walking meditation from Headspace or Waking Up.

    The author, naturalist, and environmental philosopher John Muir described this practice as “sauntering” back in early 1900s:

    I don’t like either the word [hike] or the thing. People ought to saunter in the mountains – not ‘hike!’ Do you know the origin of that word saunter? It’s a beautiful word. Away back in the middle ages people used to go on pilgrimages to the Holy Land, and when people in the villages through which they passed asked where they were going they would reply, ‘A la sainte terre’, ‘To the Holy Land.’ And so they became known as sainte-terre-ers or saunterers. Now these mountains are our Holy Land, and we ought to saunter through them reverently, not ‘hike’ through them.

    Muir always took the time for deep and profound appreciation of the places he traveled. According to Albert W. Palmer in his 1911 book, The Mountain Trail and Its Message:

    John Muir lived up to his doctrine. He was usually the last man to reach camp. He never hurried. He stopped to get acquainted with individual trees along the way. He would hail people passing by and make them get down on hands and knees if necessary to see the beauty of some little bed of almost microscopic flowers. Usually he appeared at camp with some new flowers in his hat and a little piece of fir bough in his buttonhole.

    So, whether we call it sauntering or soft hiking, let’s all take a lesson from John Muir and mix in some easy, mindful nature walks with those strenous mountain climbs.

  • Happiness by Steve Cutts

    Steve Cutts is a U.K.-based animator and illustrator with several viral short films on YouTube. His shorts use biting satire and dark humor to convey uncomfortable truths about humanity and modern society.

    In “Happiness,” we follow the story of a rodent’s unrelenting quest for happiness and fulfillment. The rodent joins other rodents in chasing happiness through consumerism, alcohol, and pharmaceuticals.

    I love how this 4-minute film makes you think about the insanity of our modern, Western society and how we may be in our own rat race.

  • Friendship Is Magic

    Give credit to “My Little Pony” for getting this right: friendship is magic. Ancient wisdom and modern research prove that having close friends is a key ingredient to both happiness and longevity.

    In Dan Buettner’s research with National Geographic to find the world’s longest-lived people, they discovered five places and dubbed them “Blue Zones.” They then brought in a team to search for evidence-based common demoninators among these hotspots.

    One of the nine common longevity characteristics is having a “right tribe” or social circle that supports healthy behaviors. This has been most prevelant in Okinawa, Japan, a Blue Zone where there’s a tradition of “moais” — a social group of five friends who act as a safety net and support each other from childhood to death.

    Developmental Psychologist Susan Pinker, Professor Lisa Berkman of Harvard University, and Researcher Julianne Holt-Lundstad at Brigham Young University, have all found evidence that social connections have long-term impacts on happiness, health, and longevity. In fact, people with stronger social relationships may have a 50% increased likelihood of survival than those with weaker social relationships.

    But I think Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh said it best in “Peace Is Every Step:”

    Even if we have a lot of money in the bank, we can die very easily from our suffering. So, investing in a friend, making a friend into a real friend, building a community of friends, is a much better source of security. We will have someone to lean on, to come to, during our difficult moments.

    So, like Twilight Sparkle learned, cherish and cultivate your good friendships. They will most certainly add years to your life and life to your years.

  • Rich Roll: Log Off, Turn In & Tune Up

    Rich Roll is an author, vegan athlete, and wellness advocate who hosts the popular Rich Roll Podcast. Over more than 700 episodes of his podcast, Rich shares his deep insights and talks with some of the best and brightest minds in entertainment, health, fitness, nutrition, and spirituality.

    In a recent episode, Rich breaks his usual interview format to explore our complicated relationship with the digital world and social media. His monologue urges us to see how these platforms are designed to hijack our attention – rather than creating a useful and healthy experience for the end user:

    The acceptance, love, and fulfillment we seek cannot be found on the same platforms that contribute to our anxiety, depression, and despair.

    This is a area where I struggle too. This episode is a needed reminder for myself to log off social media, switch off the screens, and push further inward.

    Instead of scrolling Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter, let’s spend more of our time building a bookshelf, going outside for a walk, phoning a friend, reading a novel, taking a nap, or tidying a room. Our mental and physical health will certainly be much better off.

  • The Myth of Eating Healthy on a Budget

    Dr. Robert Post, former associate executive director of the USDA’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion (CNPP):

    We constantly hear the claim that you can’t eat healthy on a budget, and to us that’s a myth because a family can eat a healthy diet with fruits and vegetables that meets the Dietary Guidelines for Americans.

    It’s necessary to plan ahead, be a smart shopper, and cook most meals at home, but according to the latest Cost of Food at Home data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) a family of four can follow a thrifty food plan for as little as $154 per week. A more liberal food plan for four, which includes more expensive cuts of meat and seafood, can be budgeted for $308 per week.

    I can personally attest to the tremendous cost savings of switching from packaged, pre-cooked, and processed foods to healthier unpackaged, raw, and unprocessed fruits, vegetables, beans, oats, nuts, and grains. It also helps to find a good farmer’s market.

    See the 27-year history of the USDA’s Cost of Food data.

  • It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

    Mental health is an important part of our overall well-being. It involves how we think, feel, and act in response to life’s challenges. Just like physical health, mental health can affect our ability to function on a daily basis.

    Some common mental health conditions include anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, depression, and OCD. These conditions can range in severity and may require professional treatment to manage.

    Everyone experiences mental health challenges at some point in their lives. It’s important to take care of our mental health by engaging in self-care activities such as getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness, sleeping well, and spending time outdoors.

    It’s also important to seek help from a mental health professional if you are struggling. A counselor or therapist can help you learn coping skills and develop a plan to manage your mental health.

    It’s okay to not be okay. Talk about your feelings and seek help if you need it.